My Love Goes Free
by scream2Bheard16
Summary: When Santana and Brittany have a fight, Brittany knows that she must make a choice between loving Santana and loving herself.


**A/N: Hey guys! So I know I have a story to be working on, it'll get added to soon, I promise! I just needed to get this idea out of my head before I could even begin to think about writing something else. So I have an unusual request. When Brittany sits down to sing, I would absolutely LOVE it if you guys could go to youtube and search "My Love Goes Free" by Jon Foreman. The fic really isn't complete or even very good **

**without to beautiful qualities of the song. Thanks so much! Hope you enjoy. R&R.**

"Kurt," Brittany said with a shaky breath, "I need to talk to you."

The boy frowned, knowing that he was about to see the side of Brittany that not many people were allowed to see. He put down the newest issue of _Vogue_ and smiled at the girl. He grabbed her hand and brought her to the choir room. After sitting in silence, for five minutes, he cautiously asked, "Britt, what's wrong?"

It was only then that he saw the light bruise outlining the blonde girl's right eye. A single tear ran down her cheek as she said, "It's not what it looks like. She-". Brittany cleared her throat before continuing. "She didn't hit me. We were fighting, and she was trying to intimidate me. I decided I didn't want to talk to her anymore, so I spun around quickly, but I tripped on the leg of a chair and hit my face on the edge." At Kurt's disbelieving stare, Brittany repeated, "She didn't hit me."

Kurt sat for a moment before remembering that Brittany is a terrible liar and he would notice if she wasn't telling the truth. "I believe you," he said finally, "But that doesn't mean that your friendship still hasn't gotten out of hand."

Brittany's small smile fell off her face. "I know," she whispered, "She didn't even stop to see if I was okay when I fell. She just walked out of the room, throwing threats at me. As if I'd ever tell anyone that-"

Brittany's sentence came to an abrupt halt as she realized she was about to disclose Santana's private information.  
>"Tell anyone what, Brittany?"<p>

Brittany bit her bottom lip, obviously conflicted. She knew that it was wrong to tell secrets, especially big ones, but it was only Kurt she would be telling. With a sigh Brittany said, "I guess I can tell you because you've been there, you know? And I mean, it's not like you're gonna run and tell the who school right?"

Even though he was a little confused, Kurt grasped Brittany's hand and said, "I won't tell a soul Brittany."

Taking a deep breath, Brittany said, "Santana's a shark – which is kinda like a dolphin, only way stronger".

Kurt was taken back for a moment before he remembered how to speak. "Brittany, are you trying to say that Santana's a lesbian?"

She nodded. "And I'm bicurioussexual."

Kurt's head was spinning, as he took in all of this information. _Why do I keep finding all these closeted gay kids?_ Kurt thought to himself.

As he took in the situation and the girl sitting next to him, his views on sexuality quickly changed (which was hard, because if anyone had definite views on sexuality, it would be Kurt). As he took in the beautiful blonde sitting in front of him, he suddenly knew that bisexuality was not a phase or a façade or a cover-up. Brittany truly loved Artie at one point, and it would seem that she now loved Santana. It was not often that Kurt was stunned speechless, and he silently gave the girl praise.

Kurt didn't realize how long he had been silent until Brittany asked in a small voice, "Kurt, do you hate me?"

"No!" Kurt answered quickly, giving the girl a hug. "Sorry, I was just a little surprised is all. So Brittany, I'm still trying to understand. Are you in love with Santana?"

Tears filled the girl's eyes as she said, "Yes, completely and utterly".

"But she won't come out," Kurt said. It was a statement more than a question. Kurt knew that Santana Lopez, former HBIC would never risk her reputation, even if she was in love with Brittany. From the second Brittany told Kurt about Santana's sexuality, it was extremely obvious that Santana was in love with Brittany. In fact, Kurt wondered why he never saw it before.

"I love her," Brittany whispered. "And some days, I can see, like physically see, the life that we could have together. But in here," she said, pointing to her chest, "When I think about that life, it always hurts. Because there's this little voice inside my head that knows. It's like this voice can tell the future because this voice whispers stuff like, _you know she doesn't love you enough to come out_ and _she takes up all the space in your heart, but you must not take up all that much space in hers because she won't tell everyone that she loves you_". Brittany was sobbing uncontrollably now. "And then it says things that really hurt, like _You're so stupid for hanging around. You know you deserve better, but you can't get that bubbly feeling in your chest to go away when you look at her. You're stupid, just like Artie said you were. You're gonna be just another Lima Loser because you're gonna spend you're whole life just waiting around for her. _And_ you know she's never gonna do anything. _And- And-" Brittany couldn't speak anymore, she was crying so hard. Kurt wrapped his arms around her, ignoring the fact that his sobs were beginning to shake him as well.

They stayed like that, Brittany crying in Kurt's arms and Kurt whispering calming words in her ears, for about ten minutes. Finally, Brittany was able to calm down enough for Kurt to talk to her.

"Britt, this isn't healthy. The way you let her live you life, it needs to change. You know that right?" She simply nodded her head. "I'm not saying it's going to be easy," Kurt added, "But she makes you hate yourself. You need let go of her so you can learn to love yourself, Brittany, because you are one damn awesome person".

Brittany smiled, as a few more tears snaked down her face. They tasted bittersweet in her mouth. They reminded her of the girl she was about to lose, but also of her true self, who she was about to meet.  
>The next day in glee, Brittany sat next to Kurt, squeezing the life out of his hand every time Santana spoke or even moved.<p>

Finally, Mr. Shue asked anyone if they had a song they would like to share with the group. Rachel's hand shot up, but that wasn't what surprised anyone. The group gave a collective gasp as Brittany hesitantly raised her hand.

"Brittany," Mr. Shue said, "You are willing to share a song? I don't think I've ever seen you willingly participate unless it involved glitter and elaborate outfits".

Brittany gave a small smile before saying, "Well, I'm starting to surprise even myself". With that she sat down at the piano, ignoring another relatively loud gasp from the group, and started to play a simple melody that calmed her nerves.

_The movement comes in slow_

_It's a tune we both should know_

_And the walls are thin_

_So, we keep our voices low_

_You're a bird with a pretty mouth_

Brittany feels a small smile break through her composure as her mind conjures up the feeling of Santana's lips against hers. She knows that even though she is moving on, the memories of Santana will always make her smile. Beyond that, she understands that the memories may sometimes make her cry.

_You're a bird with songs to shout_

_And the same refrain continues_

_Singin' out_

_If you love her let her go_

_If you love her let her go_

A single tear trickles down her face, but she doesn't bother to wipe it away.

_She sings beautiful and slow_

_A tune that only caged birds know_

_So, you're in Nashville on the phone_

_And I'm back here at home_

_And the words are new_

_But I recognize the tone_

_If you love her let her go_

_If you love her let her go_

_If you love her let her go_

_She's beautifully composed_

_A tune that only caged birds know_

Brittany knew that Santana was imprisoned by her fear. Just as Brittany had let her feelings for Santana run her life, Santana made every decision based on the fear of everyone finding out the truth about who she was. And in the back of her mind, Brittany knew that if Santana was ever going to seriously consider coming out, Brittany would need to step out of the picture. Because Brittany knew that Santana couldn't come out for her, it was something she had to do for herself.

It was in that moment that Brittany realized she was a hypocrite. Even though Santana let Brittany down, Brittany didn't keep her end of the bargain either. They were supposed to come out together, but Brittany knew that she couldn't keep waiting for Santana, whether it be for love or for confidence.

As she sang the last few lines, she made up her mind, knowing that it was time to be true to herself.

_My love goes free_

_My love goes free_

_My love goes free_

_My love goes free_

As the last chord faded, the room broke into somber applause. Most of the students in glee club thought Brittany was just a dumb blonde with no emotion. Everyone was stunned by the emotional performance and by the girl sitting in the front of the room.

"I have something I need to say," Brittany said confidently. She sucked in a breath and took the leap. "I like girls and boys." The room was silent, so Brittany felt the need to explain herself. "I just wanted you guys to know the truth. I mean, you guys are like my family, and I realized that I was being unfair, expecting other people to be themselves but not telling you guys about me. And for that," she said, risking a glance at Santana, "I am sorry. But the song was my way of saying that I'm not going to wait around for anyone anymore. I don't need other people to make me happy, I can do that myself."  
>At that, Kurt started clapping, and soon, the whole room had erupted in thunderous applause. The glee club quickly got out of their seats and enveloped Brittany in a group hug. And even though, as Brittany looked around the room, she realized that the Latina was no longer there, she felt full. Because for the first time in her life, Brittany was living her own life instead of letting someone else live it for her.<p> 


End file.
